Newsletter #4: Creating, Growing, Coming Home

 Newsletter #4: Creating, Growing, Coming Home

June/July 2022

I’ve been wanting to write for a while. Three letters started in San Luis Obispo, some pictures, and a whole lot of thinking…nothing sent. A sort of productivity anxiety, I guess. Feeling like what I send needs to be something great because it’s been a while. Or that it has to encompass everything I’m thinking and everything I learned. But that’s not why I started writing these letters. In fact, it was the complete opposite: there are no expectations and therefore no wrong.

Let’s talk about change.

Moving away for a month reminded me of how much I value change. Yet, change is hard. I’ve thought, everything is out of control! And that is life, we all feel it! If you really think about it, there are few constants and things we can control, which can be absolutely terrifying. But that doesn’t mean we can’t feel grounded. Change facilitates my growth and makes me feel so uncomfortable and so uneasy, but in the end, so strong. After a lot of thinking, I realize that the best place to be is to embrace change and to welcome it. To accept that change is one of our biggest needs as people in order to grow and in order to live. I am realizing for myself that I love change. 

I moved somewhere new for four weeks. I moved in with two strangers. I went to lectures from bold professors and tried new things and pushed myself. It wasn’t easy. And I am so grateful.

I want to share some of the experiences I had over the four weeks of my class at cal poly. The people and mentors there were incredibly interesting, and introduced me to so many new ideas involving architecture, psychology, and creating spaces with intent. I have so much to share and so many interesting conversations to look back on after spending all day every day learning, listening to lectures, and building. (nerdy newsletter on this coming soon featuring some projects I worked on!)

I found grounding and a sense of peace in small things while I was away. It was hard to replace the feelings of home that I missed – neighbors, friends, familiarity, belonging – but I know that appreciating constants around me helped. 

Oh boy am I a sucker for hills!

Coming home was relieving. I am so lucky to be back seeing people I love and doing things that make me happy. After reflecting, I wonder where the balance is between pushing myself out of my comfort zone, yielding positive growth, and leaning a bit too far, overwhelming myself. To cruise in the sweet spot in the middle is the goal – constantly evolving, but staying true.

I like to challenge myself with things which push me to grow. And since I’ve come home, it has been surfing. I use my aunt’s old log from Ventura: a beautiful board that she had when she was younger. It’s big, it’s heavy, and it goes fast. And well, I’m not invincible, but it turns out I’m just a little bit tough. 

A lot of the time, surfing scares the shit out of me. Something about it doesn’t push me away though. To have the ability to exist in a space that I can’t control at all, but find a way to navigate and move my body feels so right. 

It will always be a place where I can grow and get better. Without a doubt, it will always push me out of my comfort zone. 

Surfing also reminds me to be thankful for where I live, my access to the coast, and my health. Being grateful for these things makes me feel complete. It is really incredible to live in a place like California and to be able to experience this. 

In the end, I’m hoping that you can take away a reminder to be appreciative, or that there is so much beauty in change, even when it is difficult. 

Thank you for taking time to read this.

Send me an email back if you have something to say, and as always if you want to be removed from my email list!

Kayla